Help I have to get married
by dogsfang
Summary: What if the fourth Mizukage never started the bloodline war, instead he took Kira to a new hight of power!  What if Naruto's parents survived to raise him, then one day Naruto finds out that he has to get married to save the village from Kira's invasion.
1. Chapter 1 Humble beginings

Help I have to get married! Chapter 1 It begins!

Yagura the fourth Mizukage closed his eyes as he struggled to think. Over the past few years Kira's military and its economy had suffered greatly.

"I am the Mizukage, and its my job to protect the village…..The newest report is troubling. How could I improve the village and the land of water?"

"Mizukage sama," A voice said behind him. Yagura let his chair roll around only to see the ninja appear by his desk. His face covered in usual spiral mask.

"I have two reports for you. The first report it concerns the blood line users. Numerous villagers have expressed concern about how dangerous they could be if they turned against the village. The second report concerns the giant three tailed turtle and the six tailed slug Mizukage. Now then it seems that the giant three tailed turtle has wrecked considerable damage to our shipping fleet. It will take some time to repair. Also the-" The hunter ninja fell silent as Yagura held up his hand as the wheels in his head began to turn.

"Find and capture the giant three tailed turtle and the six tailed slug. Also begin hunting down the people who have bloodline traits. Capture them alive no bodies…Bring them to me alive. I have a plan to increase Kira's authority."

Twelve years later.

The sun shone brightly casting its golden rays across the village hidden in the leaves.  
>Minato Nimzaki threw a kuni at the young blond haired, blued, hyperactive ninja that was his son Naruto. Naruto quickly ducked while he reached behind him and hooked his pointer finger through the hole in the kuni handle quickly pulling the ninja tool back towards him. He sharply flicked his wrist sending the kuni his father had thrown at him, right back.<p>

"Minato the two of you have had enough training, its time for me to spend time training Naruto; besides its part of my duties as his godfather." The white spiky haired ninja said with a eagerness that surprised Minato.

"Come on Naruto its time to go to the bath houses!" The boys godfather Jiraiya said happily.

"Jiraiya you aren't just using Naruto to sneak a peek at women in the thermal baths are you?" A dangerous voice said fallowed by a sharp cracking of knuckles.

The perverted sage that was Naruto's godfather turned and found himself facing the size E chest that belonged to Naruto's godmother the queen of slugs and elixirs.

Jiraiya quickly grabbed Naruto and held him tightly to his chest while rubbing his head firmly as he faked a false feeling of hurt in his voice.

"Tsunada I'm shocked! How could you even think, that I would use my precious godson to do something like that?"

"It is because I know you, you perverted old man. You say that you're teaching him intricate chakra control by teaching him how to walk on water in the thermal baths, yet in six months Naruto has yet to demonstrate what he has learned from you!" Tsunada scowled angrily.

"If I find out that you're teaching Naruto your filthy habits the beating I gave you once before when I caught you spying on me when I was bathing will seem like a tickle by comparison! Furthermore the last thing the village needs is a younger version of you to take up your art of spying of women! I'm warning you right now, when Naruto gets back from your training session he had better be able to demonstrate how to walk on water or else!" Tsunada cracked her knuckles in a threatening manor.

"At least I train him in something useful. The medical jujtsu I am teaching him will be more beneficial to him than your useless lessons."

Surprisingly Naruto picked that time to speak up. "But granny Tsunada pervy sage's lessons aren't useless. Jiriaya's lessons are great. He says that I can walk on water like a chun-in."

Tsunada narrowed her eyes and looked at Naruto skeptically. "Really I find that hard to believe because whenever I try to get you to walk on water for me you fall in."

"But granny Tsunada I don't perform well under pressure, plus I need proper motivation to get me to walk on water right." Naruto said quickly.

"Naruto I find it hard to believe that Jiriaya has taught you anything useful. However if you're so sure then lets make a bet. If you can't walk on water for me then you will spend the next two months cleaning the bed pans in the hospital in addition to your regular medical training. IF I am wrong then I'll give you a week off to do whatever you want with Jiriaya."

Naruto smiled happily. "Alright I'll win your bet granny Tsunada believe it! Because pervy sage says that I'm a natural when it comes to walking on water and he says that when I do the transparency jujtsu he taught me its flawless. I've never been caught peeping once in the women's baths!" Naruto said happily.

"What was that?" Another woman's voice said as Jiriaya's expression suddenly turned pale, as a frightened look crossed his face. An angry look crossed Tsunada's echoing the one Kusushi, Naruto's mother, had on her face as she appeared in a puff of smoke.

"Now, now Tsunada, Kusushi my training methods have never been questioned before. I promise the two of you that I have been training Naruto in something useful." Jiriaya said quickly as Kusushi grabbed Naruto from Jiriaya's grip while Tsunada slammed her fist into the perverts face.

"Let's just see shall we." Kusushi growled angrily as she half pulled half dragged her son to a nearby river.

"Now, Naruto remember what I taught you about walking on water, you godfathers life, I mean our lives depend on it." Jiriaya said nervously.

Naruto closed his eyes as he struggled to remember to do everything his godfather had told him about walking on water. He reached his foot out trying keep his chakra flowing as he put his foot out on the water. Unfortunately for the bond ninja despite his efforts Naruto fell face first into the cold river water. Tsunada glared dangerously at Jiriaya. Jiriaya broke from the blond woman's iron grip as he grabbed Naruto and bit his thumb then made a quick series of hand signs. Out of a puff of smoke rose a large green toad with red lips.

He tossed Naruto on the toad's back only for the toad to throw him into the air. Tsunada and Kusushi forgetting Jiriaya ran after Naruto. Jiriaya quickly fallowed the two women at a safe distance. As luck would have it Naruto landed face first on the familiar stone walk way that led to the bathing houses. Naruto quickly spotted his mother as well as his godmother running towards him. Seeing no choice he ran into the bath house. The blond ninja stopped to rest inside only to see his mother and godmother hot on his heals. He quickly focused his chakra and let it wash over him like a cloak bending the light around him making him invisible to the eyes of his two female pursuers.

"So that's Jiriaya's transparency jujtsu. I am going to murder that man!" Tsunada growled as she watched the curtain to the ladies bath get brushed aside as if kissed by an invisible wind.

Tsunada and Kusushi were not fooled as the two female ninja rushed inside. Kusushi a mixture of anger and amazement as she watched numerous splashes on top of the water there were not caused by any of the female bathers. Naruto's mother as well as his godmother, not wanting to make a scene, both rushed forward on the water of the large woman's bath using the small splashes to figure out where Naruto was quickly grabbed him and got outside.

Tsunada bought her right fist up and smacked Naruto on his head forcing him to loose his concentration and reveal himself. Beside the Kusushi stood Minato looking amused, and Jiriaya with a look of pride on his face.

"Naruto certainly have a knack for causing trouble! I proud of you for learning-I mean, that was very wrong Naruto, very, very wrong." Minato said as he struggled not to laugh. Kusushi shot him a glare when it became clear to her that her husband had no intention to punish Naruto for what he had done. On the contrary he was happy to see his son master two hard techniques as well as being amused by his sons antics.

"Ah Naruto you make me very proud. Lets go to-" The toad sages statement was cut off by two death glares one from Tsunada and the other from Kusushi.

"Naruto you're in big trouble now young man!" Kusushi looked angrily at Naruto.

Naruto looked at both his mother and his godmother and tried to look mount a defense. "Mom, granny Tsunada, I did go into the ladies baths but lets look at the more important thing here. I walked on water and I mastered the invisibility jujtsu the Jiriaya taught me. So wouldn't you say that that's the more important-"

"Naruto you are grounded for the next six months and you will spend those six months cleaning the bed pans in the hospital! Now go to your room!" Kusishi cried angrily as she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Naruto you are not to imitate your godfathers antics!" Tsunada growled angrily. But she could tell her words were lost to Naruto for Jiriaya and Minato had both picked him up and started off for home.

Hello everyone! I hope that all of you like this chapter.

As alway review please.

Cheers Dogsfang


	2. Chapter 2 Naruto's punishment

Naruto: Help I have to get married ch 2 Naruto's punishment!

Naruto gritted his teeth as he begrudgingly took a rag and continued to scrub out the bed pan.

"You're doing a good job son, I am proud you." Minato said as he appeared behind Naruto in a puff of smoke. The Fourth Hokage placed his hand on his sons shoulder in a small gesture of fatherly pride.

Minato sighed for a few moments as he picked up rag and began to help Naruto with the disgusting job his mother and his godmother had assigned to him.

"You will make a great ninja Naruto. Perhaps even become Hokage yourself one day. You made me very happy when I heard from your mother and Tsunade that you were able to do Jiriaya's transparency jujtsu as well as walking on water. You're growing up so fast. Now then remember tomorrow to meet Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi for the mission to the land of water. Now I would love to help you out more here but," Kohana's yellow flash smiled at his son warmly as he disappeared in puff of smoke. "I have to go."

Naruto sighed as he continued to clean the disgusting bed pans.

"Ah after I get this done I have to go and meet mom and granny Tsunade, something about telling me about the land of water where I'll be going."

"Don't take it so hard Naruto. Women are confusing." A voice said interrupting Naruto's mussing.  
>Naruto looked out the window of the hospital only to see his godfather Jiriaya sitting on the head of large red toad.<p>

"Now then let the wisdom of the toad sage enlighten you to the ways of women." Jiriaya said as he laughed.

"Naruto one of the most important things you must learn about women is that when they turn thirty they are a in a very emotional state. It puts them in a bad mood, generally for the rest of their life."

Naruto glared at his godfather angrily.

"I don't believe you pervy sage. Besides it seems like whenever I listen to you I get into trouble! Remember when I was eight you taught me how to steal women's underwear."

A happy almost nostalgic look hit Jiriaya's face as he remembered seeing his godson on the run leaping from roof to roof on the run from various female ninja whom looked fit to kill, determined to hunt the eight year old down for stealing their underwear.

Naruto then pointed a finger at his godfather pretending to be angry.

"You told me that it was the perfect way to learn how to spy and how to get out of tight situations."

"I told you the truth didn't I!" Jiriaya said pretending to be hurt by Naruto's comment.

"Its true no one in the village can run and disappear as fast as you." Jiriaya said.

"Then for the final you told me to steal the bra and panties that belonged to some female Ambu Black Ops member along with granny Tsunade's underwear."

"Hey don't diminish your accomplishments. Besides its not every day an eight year old gets to see the hot springs that belong to the elite Ambu black ops Kouinichi. Even I haven't seen that. Also you have to admit that it takes a certain amount of skill to steal a bra from a Black Ops Kouinichi and Tsunade when they are in the bathhouse." Jiriaya poked at Naruto happily.

Naruto sighed.

"Yes I know I used your transparency Jutsu, and a variation of dad's flying thunder god technique. I snuck in and marked the area around the hot springs with the seal then covered it up. Then I tossed in a sleeping potion and a chakra disruption potion that granny Tsunade taught me how to make.

Once that was done I used a few shadow clones made to look like little kids. Then I had them briefly grope granny Tsunade and that female Ambu black ops member to apply the seal before they went into the bathhouse. Then I used the transparency jutsu to make myself invisible then used dad's flying thunder god technique to appear steal their underwear then disapear."  
>Jiriaya's smirked as he looked at Naruto with a hint of pride.<p>

"Naruto that's a-"

"I know it's a S class time space manipulation jutsu. Granny Tsunade and Mom made me study famous ninja of the village along with my usual load of homework from the academy. I also remember reading about a few of their techniques. The two of them made me stay up studying for hours but it was worth it. Dad always showed me a few of his really cool jutsu as a reward for doing well on my tests."

Naruto frowned seeing the look on Jiriaya's face.

"Hey I can't help it if dad's shown me his flying thunder god jutsu to me so many times I figured out how to do it!" Naruto protested.

"I even put the seal on my Kuni just like dad. But anyway it doesn't matter because Mom and granny Tsunade don't know I can do that yet, not even dad knows. Besides its bad enough that Mom and granny Tsunade know I added some special bath soap that made all the women in the hot springs half asleep so they wouldn't be able to chase me very far.

Granny Tsunade was furious at me for abusing her teachings for weeks over that! She nearly threatened to stop teaching me medical jutsu. I still want her to keep teaching me, because if I get good enough and she trusts me then I might get to give sponge baths to injured Kouinichi at the hospital."

Naruto chuckled as thought of how fun that would be. Also he remembered how he somehow managed to leave out the fact that he had used his father's famous jutsu to his mother and to granny Tsunade. He briefly shuddered thinking of how much worse a punishment he would have gotten had his mother and granny Tsunade found out about how he had learned and abused the time space jutsu that his family was famous for. A jutsu that, as far as she and Tsunade knew, Minato hadn't taught him yet.

"When Mom and granny Tsunade found out, Mom was furious and gave me a two hour lecture on respecting ladies and granny Tsunade spanked me until my butt was the color of a tomato! I couldn't sit down for the next two weeks!  
>On top of that Mom made dad and old man Sarutobi give me a long talk about stopping my childish acts, growing up, showing maturity and the importance of knowing that my actions dishonor my house and name of Hokage. Then granny Tsunade made me clean the bed pans and the toilets of the hospital every day for eight months."<p>

"See I have taught you something useful, and on top of that you learned that with every mission there is a risk of getting caught, which you did even though you succeeded." Jiriaya smiled.

"Now then as I saying Naruto that in regards to women you must remember that when a woman hits thirty her face will cave right in."

Naruto flashed his godfather a look of disbelief.

"I'm serious Naruto this will happen to every women when they hit thirty. Then a woman's once perky, firm, and not to mention soft breasts will start sagging. They'll start drooping faster than your face when your mother refuses to make ramen for you. But that is not the worst of it." Jiriaya lowered his voice dramatically.

"Then they start dripping in the woman's pluming department, and all of that will get any women depressed for the rest of their lives. That's why your granny Tsunade uses a jujtsu to hide her real face and body. I'm warning you now Naruto because, if you ever see your granny Tsunade's real face you will never become a man…..Well I have to go. Tsunade threatened to castrate me if I see you before you're done with your punishment."

"Hey pervy sage catch!" Naruto called as he threw a kuni knife at his godfather. Jiriaya smirked as he caught the poorly throw weapon in his right hand. He looked around for his godson only to find that Naruto had disappeared. A sharp blow to the head briefly made Jiriaya see stars only for his vision to clear only to see Naruto standing beside him on the head of the toad boss.

"I used your transparency jutsu and dad's special jutsu just like I said I did pervy sage!" Naruto happily bragged.

"Humph I've seen better Naruto." Jiriaya smirked as he, and the toad disappeared.

"AH!" Naruto cried as he fell to the ground. "Umph! I hate it when Jiriaya does that." Naruto muttered as he picked himself off the ground.  
>Naruto sighed as he walked back into the hospital and got back to work.<p>

Hello everyone! I hope that all of you liked this chapter! As always review please.

Cheers Dogsfang


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